Tips to help those we love feel better about themselves.
Most people have trouble with low self-esteem at one time or another, especially those who brag about themselves or sound arrogant. We all have ways of coping during these times. The opposite of arrogance is putting yourself down in order to raise up the other person up. All this accomplishes is lowering the bar for both of you. You came down below their level so neither of you gained anything. While it is important for a person to work on their own self-esteem issues, it does affect those who are in a relationship with them. Here are some tips you can use to help them along the way:
Accept them just as they are faults and all. We all have faults so expecting someone to always meet your standards is unrealistic. The best gift anyone can give is to accept them just as they are. Often people are more willing to discuss or work on their ‘assumed faults’ if they feel accepted first.
Make sure you remind them that you still love or care about them when you are angry. You can tell them what you are angry or upset about but always include a statement like ‘but I still love you’ and mean it! Never use love as a weapon by taking it away if someone displeases you. Love is a gift and is needed even more when someone is less than perfect.
Apologize and accept responsibility for your words and actions when you hurt someone or are in the wrong. Don’t blame the other person for your unhappiness. You can choose to forgive, let go, and be happy or continue to blame the other person for all that you feel is wrong. Forgiveness and letting go builds self-esteem by letting them feel they are worthy of your love despite their imperfections.
Strive to raise the bar for both you and your partner to continually improve. This not only helps both of you to become better people but when you work on it together, you become closer. It builds stronger, longer-lasting relationships. There’s nothing like ‘making up’ after a fight to bring a relationship closer. (Includes couples or parent-child relationships).
Make it a habit to start each day fresh. Try a smile or a hug if you cannot think of any words to say. Don’t let them go out the door without them hearing ‘I love you’ even if you are not over being mad. You never know when these could be the last words they hear.
