Have you ever found yourself in the same rut over and over again? In order to change the outcome, we have to take steps along the way to learn how we got in the ‘pothole’ in the first place. Then we can choose another path.
Have you ever found yourself in the same rut over and over again? It happened to me again recently. I found myself on the other side of a conversation and I didn’t know how I got there. As I have pondered over the situation, I realized I needed to take a different path to have a different outcome this time. It reminded of a poem I read years ago I remember affectionately as the ‘Pothole Poem’ but it’s real title is Autobiography in Five Chapters by Portia Nelson (see below). She was writing an autobiography of her life but it might as well have been mine. In order to change the outcome, we have to take steps along the way to learn how we got in the ‘pothole’ in the first place. Then we can choose to break the habit and eventually learn to take a different street.
This time, I changed the outcome. First, I confronted my inclination to avoid this person as in this case, it would be easy to do. As I thought about the poem, my eyes were wide open this time. I choose to try to understand what happened in order to break the pattern. So, I made an appointment with the person to discuss it.
Admittedly, I was afraid but I persevered as I asked him why he came to his conclusion. It was a growing experience for both of us as we cleared up misperceptions and miscommunications.
If I find myself in the place again, I can choose to ‘walk down another street’. I don’t want to spend my life falling in the same pothole.
You can choose a different path too.
Jean
Autobiography in Five Chapters
by Portia Nelson
Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost …. I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit … but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter Five
I walk down another street.
Download pdf of Autobiography in Five Chapters.
