Learning to be happy in an unhappy situation can lead you to better options. First, you have to believe you are worth it before others will see it. These five steps will help you go from being unhappy to hopeful and finally to being happy.
Do you hate your work? Even if you are working in an unhappy situation, you can be happy.
I was leaving a store with my groceries when I looked up to see a man wearing a store uniform trudging towards the store. I stopped at my car and unloaded my groceries. As I looked for a cart corral, the man looked up at me. I smiled but he did not respond. He just stared down at his feet.
A happy employee would have said, “let me take your cart for you” with a smile. Especially since he was going into the store anyway. I thought about how miserable he looked and how it transparent it showed with his entire body language. Customers could not help but see how much he hated his job.
Yes, he could have problems at home but if he did, work was not a welcome escape. I can’t know what is going on in his life, but I do know, his unhappiness would be felt by each person he met.
Life sometimes forces us to do things we don’t enjoy doing. However, we do have a choice. We can choice to wallow in unhappiness or we can decide to be make the most of the situation. The only thing we have control over is our attitude. Even having control over one thing such as our attitude can change our entire outlook on life. So how do change your attitude to be happy?
1. Smile. Research has shown if you force a smile, you will start to feel better.
2. Offer to help people. Helping others
takes our mind off our own problems. Start with a simple gesture like offering to return my cart for me. I would have thanked him, a show of my appreciation.
3. Look for the positive at work. When we
are unhappy, we tend to see only the negative. Start looking for things that are pleasant, like the face of a child getting a new bike at the checkout. Or a co-worker who is enjoying talking to the customers.
4. Start a gratitude list. Write down at
least three things you can be grateful for in your life; family, friends, the ability to pay your bills or your car is still running. It can be that basic. Run through list in your head just before going to work.
5. Write a list of affirmations. Affirmations are a way of elevating how you see yourself. If you feel unlovable, write ‘I am a lovable person’. If you feel unappreciated at work, write ‘I will have a job where I am appreciated’. You need to believe you are worth it before others can see it.
When I was going through a divorce, I struggled with self-worth. I had two part-time jobs with no benefits despite having a master’s degree. I wrote an affirmation list and included what I deserved to be paid at my next job. I posted the list on my bathroom mirror and read them every morning. It seemed far fetched but I kept doing it. Guess what I got paid at my next job? I started at that exact salary with benefits.
These five steps got me through the hard times until I felt happy and whole again. Give them a try. Done consistently, they will help you too.
Jean
