If you are regularly tolerating or accepting results which do not meet your expectations, a new approach can help. The answer may be in how you deliver your message.
When we were visiting my 91-year-old mother-in-law, she saw dust in the corner of her hardwood floor. She pointed at my brother-in-law and said, “you missed a bunch when you vacuumed the floor.” My brother-in-law responded, “I moved the table just like you asked!”
Recognize the effort regardless of the outcome.
Needless to say, things were a bit strained between my in-laws at that moment. We felt the tension across the room.
To smooth things over, I said, “My husband misses the corners too.” My mother-in-law thought for a moment, shook her head and exclaimed, “It must be hereditary!”
I gently nudged her and said, “Oh well, you have to appreciate the effort.”
As we laughed, we felt the mood in the room relax. My brother-in-law is more likely to give vacuuming another try since he no longer felt criticized for his effort.
Clearly communicate your expectations.
An instructor told me, ‘Men don’t get hints. If you want something be blunt!’
I believe this applies to everyone, not just men. It’s particularly applicable when people are learning how to do a task.
Be specific about your expectations of how the project should look upon completion. In the vacuuming example, my mother-in-law needed to explain how to use the attachments on the vacuum to get the dust in the corner underneath the bookcase.
A demonstration along with an explanation gets better results.
If my mother-in-law had given a demonstration on using the vacuum attachments, my brother-in-law would have met her expectations.
The words we say are more open to interpretation than showing how something is done. To meet your expectations, add a visual such as a demonstration, diagram or video of the procedure along with your verbal instructions.
Tell people when your expectations have changed.
Expectations change depending on who will see the results and under what conditions.
For example, when company is coming, your expectations for what is considered ‘clean’ increase especially for a special occasion. However, on a routine day, missing the corners are not a big deal.
Remember, when your expectations have changed, it is your responsibility to communicate these changes before the task is completed. Making the assumption people will ‘just know’ how to meet your exceptions is unrealistic.
Your expectations may be different than theirs.
A manufacturing company received complaints from welders who left their station a mess at the end of their shift. The next welder had to clean up their mess before they could start their shift.
Each welder insisted they left their station clean at the end of their workday. What was the problem?
The welders did not share the same standards for a ‘clean station’. Outlining a standard set of rules for a ‘clean station’ eliminated the problem. (See Manufacturing Case Study for additional details.)
Notice what was done correctly before pointing out mistakes.
Years ago, when I came home from work, my sons would be proudly waiting for me to notice they had done their chores. Instead, I would point out the things they had missed or had not done correctly.
One day, my son asked me, “Why do you always point out what we did wrong? Can’t you see how hard we’ve worked?”
Ah, a teaching moment from my son. To motivate them, I needed to recognize how hard they had worked to meet my expectations. After praising them, it was easier for them to hear my suggestions.
Encourage them to get better to meet your expectations.
While they are learning, you can give helpful tips for improvement. They will listen to your requests if they feel appreciated for their effort.
Give only one or two suggestions at a time. Too many suggestions can negate the good you have done with your praise.
Remember, it is a process people are learning. It takes time to perfect it.
Also, you may need to lower your standards depending on the capabilities and ages of your ‘students’. Providing encouragement motivates people to want to meet your expectations.
Reward the behavior you want repeated.
If you want someone to meet your expectations, you need to express your appreciation. Thank them for their effort regardless of how well the job was done.
Feeling appreciated is different for each person. Finding the method which will work in your situation is key to maintaining their desire to meet your expectations.
What have you used to motivate people to meet your expectations?
Warmly,
Jean
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