I made a choice to heal when I had the chance and it changed me. A few years ago, I worked with a person who was insecure about her own abilities. Instead of working harder, she choose to spend her time and energy trying to discrete me. A phenomenon many of us are all too familiar within the workplace.
After many unsuccessful attempts to remedy the situation, I left that employment but not without major scarring. At first, I wanted to avoid her. This made me feel worse, like it was somehow my fault. One day, a friend asked me to help her at an event located in the building with my old office. I took the chance because I was ready to face my former co-worker.
I had purchased a red Calvin Klein raincoat while working there. My co-worker loved the coat so much she tried to find one like it. She said she wanted to buy it. So when I volunteered, I decided to give her the coat. Yes, you heard me correctly. I’m giving a very expensive coat to the person who had made my work life so unbearable. No, I’ve not gone mad so let me explain.
Here’s what happened. I tried three times over the course of two days to give her the coat. Every time she saw me, she ran. She even drove out of the parking lot when I drove in! So, I did not give her the raincoat.
But an interesting thing happened to me. I was changed. I laughed instead of hiding because now she was afraid of me! I felt empowered. The real gift was freedom from all the negativity that shrouded my memory of her. I was healed.
Now I face my accusers by being nice instead of ‘hiding out’. Sometimes I just say ‘hi’ and I feel better. The key to being healed from what others think and do is by my own act of kindness. I have taken control of my emotions and I do the unexpected – I’m nice to them. It surprises them and frees me.
Jean Brownlie, WorkerSmarts.com
